Once you are married, there is nothing left for you, not even suicide.

Once you are married, there is nothing left for you, not even suicide.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold read more

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

The women's movement hit my neighborhood like a freight train. Everybody got divorced. You wonder what would have happened to read more

The women's movement hit my neighborhood like a freight train. Everybody got divorced. You wonder what would have happened to women if the suburbs hadn't been built.

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he read more

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you maybe fall in again.