I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having read more

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always read more

Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.

A great poet has seldom sung of lawfully wedded happiness, but of free and secret love; and in this respect, read more

A great poet has seldom sung of lawfully wedded happiness, but of free and secret love; and in this respect, too the time is coming when there will no longer be one standard of morality for poetry and another for life. To anyone tender of conscience, the ties formed by a free connection are stronger than the legal ones.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold read more

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

Well-married, a man is winged: ill-matched, he is shackled.

Well-married, a man is winged: ill-matched, he is shackled.