Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best read more

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best friend's my wife. Who could ask for anything more?

What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father.

What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

I think men are afraid to be with a successful woman, because we are terribly strong, we know what we read more

I think men are afraid to be with a successful woman, because we are terribly strong, we know what we want and we are not fragile enough.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get read more

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.