Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...

Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

My family comes first. Maybe that\'s what makes me different from other guys.

My family comes first. Maybe that\'s what makes me different from other guys.

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.

The family is the school of duties... founded on love.

The family is the school of duties... founded on love.