Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her read more

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

In this society, the norm of masculinity is phallic aggression. Male sexuality is, by definition, intensely and rigidly phallic. A read more

In this society, the norm of masculinity is phallic aggression. Male sexuality is, by definition, intensely and rigidly phallic. A man's identity is located in his conception of himself as the possessor of a phallus; a man's worth is located in his pride in phallic identity. The main characteristic of phallic identity is that worth is entirely contingent on the possession of a phallus. Since men have no other criteria for worth, no other notion of identity, those who do not have phalluses are not recognized as fully human.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.

A woman in love can't be reasonable--or she probably wouldn't be in love.

A woman in love can't be reasonable--or she probably wouldn't be in love.

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your read more

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family.