Don't you realize that as long as you have to sit down to pee, you'll never be a dominant force read more

Don't you realize that as long as you have to sit down to pee, you'll never be a dominant force in the world? You'll never be a convincing technocrat or middle manager. Because people will know. She's in there sitting down.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

We say that a girl with her doll anticipates the mother. It is more true, perhaps, that most mothers are read more

We say that a girl with her doll anticipates the mother. It is more true, perhaps, that most mothers are still but children with playthings.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

She is not made to be the admiration of all, but the happiness of one.

She is not made to be the admiration of all, but the happiness of one.

For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition.

For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition.

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn read more

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.