There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.

What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father.

What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father.

There is always a chance that he who sets himself up as his brother's keeper will end up by being read more

There is always a chance that he who sets himself up as his brother's keeper will end up by being his jail-keeper.

Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.

Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.

Only a few human beings should grow to the square mile; they are commonly planted too close.

Only a few human beings should grow to the square mile; they are commonly planted too close.

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.