If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.

If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.

You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like read more

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

You don't know a woman until you have a letter from her

You don't know a woman until you have a letter from her

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would read more

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.