She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

A woman's head is always influenced by heart; but a man's heart by his head. -Lady Marguerite Blessington.

A woman's head is always influenced by heart; but a man's heart by his head. -Lady Marguerite Blessington.

Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.

Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.

What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father.

What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut read more

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.