My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

All women are misfits. We do not fit into this world without amputations. -Marge Piercy.

All women are misfits. We do not fit into this world without amputations. -Marge Piercy.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try to give their best qualities to men -- read more

Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try to give their best qualities to men -- bring them softness, teach them how to cry. -Joan Baez.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.

You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older.

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends up blocking his retreat.

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends up blocking his retreat.