What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to read more

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

The person who can be only serious or only cheerful, is but half a man.

The person who can be only serious or only cheerful, is but half a man.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" read more

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another.".

Once a man is on hand, a woman tends to stop believing in her own beliefs.

Once a man is on hand, a woman tends to stop believing in her own beliefs.

A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.

A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

There must be some reason why a man must be convinced, while a woman must be persuaded.

There must be some reason why a man must be convinced, while a woman must be persuaded.

Don't you realize that as long as you have to sit down to pee, you'll never be a dominant force read more

Don't you realize that as long as you have to sit down to pee, you'll never be a dominant force in the world? You'll never be a convincing technocrat or middle manager. Because people will know. She's in there sitting down.