Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.

If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

She'd have you spew up what you've drunk when you were out.

A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.

A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how read more

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to read more

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.