Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw, read more

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw, After the first twenty minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take read more

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what read more

It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, how to feel about it, and how to look how you feel about it.

The secret to film is that it's an illusion.

The secret to film is that it's an illusion.

You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.

You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.

Everything makes me nervous - except making films.

Everything makes me nervous - except making films.