Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much you are rewarded or how read more

Unless you choose to do great things with it, it makes no difference how much you are rewarded or how much you have.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

Give the American people a good cause, and there's nothing they can't lick.

Give the American people a good cause, and there's nothing they can't lick.

I am the modern, intelligent, independent-type woman. In other words, a girl who can not get a man.

I am the modern, intelligent, independent-type woman. In other words, a girl who can not get a man.

I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people read more

I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, read more

Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. read more

Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause — you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take read more

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job