Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's read more

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Call a spade a spade.

Call a spade a spade.

One forgets words as one forgets names. One's vocabulary needs constant fertilizing or it will die

One forgets words as one forgets names. One's vocabulary needs constant fertilizing or it will die

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) read more

Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. If we must have them, let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to MH.

Known by the sobriquet of "The Artful Dodger."

Known by the sobriquet of "The Artful Dodger."

I know there's a Derby out there with my name on it.

I know there's a Derby out there with my name on it.

He left a Corsair's name to other times,
Linked with one virtue, and a thousand crimes.

He left a Corsair's name to other times,
Linked with one virtue, and a thousand crimes.

I decided that I would be one of the biggest new names; and I actually had some little fancy business read more

I decided that I would be one of the biggest new names; and I actually had some little fancy business cards printed up to announce it, "Count Basie. Beware, the Count is Here."

I don't like giving names to generations. It's like trying to read the song title on a record that's spinning.

I don't like giving names to generations. It's like trying to read the song title on a record that's spinning.