One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for read more

One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?
(when asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries this season resulted from poor physical conditioning)

Raise the urinals.
(on how management could keep the Braves on their toes)

Raise the urinals.
(on how management could keep the Braves on their toes)

Hail Caesar, those who are about to die salute you.

Hail Caesar, those who are about to die salute you.

This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria....I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing.

This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria....I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing.

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's read more

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books)

The bell that tolls for all in boxing belongs to a cash register.

The bell that tolls for all in boxing belongs to a cash register.

The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that's the day you start read more

The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that's the day you start to the top.