Party honesty is party expediency.

Party honesty is party expediency.

The sun with light umber
touches vined cucumber
The more he tickles
the more there are pickles.

The sun with light umber
touches vined cucumber
The more he tickles
the more there are pickles.

There is no Democratic or Republican way of cleaning the streets.

There is no Democratic or Republican way of cleaning the streets.

He serves his party best who serves the country best.

He serves his party best who serves the country best.

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends.... That if they will top telling read more

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends.... That if they will top telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care read more

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

Ridicule has historically proven itself a rickety fence for great ideas.

Ridicule has historically proven itself a rickety fence for great ideas.

Sometimes party loyalty asks too much.

Sometimes party loyalty asks too much.

A cure for War? Furiously spending the same daily amount of money toward making friends. Being an indispensable source of read more

A cure for War? Furiously spending the same daily amount of money toward making friends. Being an indispensable source of food, shelter, peace, and cultural support dedicatedly spending 9 billion dollars a month on helping people would be a formidable enemy of evil.