There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up, and the kind you make up.

There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up, and the kind you make up.

One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....

One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!

Statistics are like lampposts: they are good to lean on, but they don't shed much light.

Statistics are like lampposts: they are good to lean on, but they don't shed much light.

Statistics are no substitute for judgment

Statistics are no substitute for judgment

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you burn'

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you burn'

Before a cure is found we will all have been affected one way or another.

Before a cure is found we will all have been affected one way or another.

It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.

It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.