Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you burn'

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you burn'

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never read more

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.

There are two kinds of statistics: the kind you look up and the kind you make up

There are two kinds of statistics: the kind you look up and the kind you make up

Round numbers are always false.

Round numbers are always false.

Statistics are no substitute for judgment

Statistics are no substitute for judgment

One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....

One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....

Statistics are people with the tears wiped from their eyes

Statistics are people with the tears wiped from their eyes

I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself I just didn't want to smoke, but I didn't believe myself

I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself I just didn't want to smoke, but I didn't believe myself