I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to read more

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to vote)

The character of a person is in direct proportion to his
commitment to excellence.

The character of a person is in direct proportion to his
commitment to excellence.

Baseball is like church. Many attend but few understand.

Baseball is like church. Many attend but few understand.

It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.

It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.

There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside

There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside

I've won at every level, except college and pro.

I've won at every level, except college and pro.

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's read more

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
(telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books)

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.