Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

I play [golf] with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.

I play [golf] with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.

I'm glad you're doing this story on us and not on the WNBA. We're so much prettier than all the read more

I'm glad you're doing this story on us and not on the WNBA. We're so much prettier than all the other women in sports.

A good hitter has timing.
A good pitcher upsets timing.

A good hitter has timing.
A good pitcher upsets timing.

I'll let the racket do the talking.

I'll let the racket do the talking.

You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games.

You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games.

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to read more

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to vote)

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.

Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.
(on sportswriters)

Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.
(on sportswriters)