The game was closer than the score indicated.
(after a 1-0 game)

The game was closer than the score indicated.
(after a 1-0 game)

Sports is the toy department of human life.

Sports is the toy department of human life.

You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that.

You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that.

One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for read more

One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?
(asking if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries this season resulted from poor physical conditioning)

They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets.

They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets.

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in read more

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

Don't park in the spaces marked, "Reserved for Umpires.".

I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.
(When asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf)

I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.
(When asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf)

Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is.

Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is.