Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, read more

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.

Football is violence and cold weather and sex and college rye.

There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside

There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside

Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same read more

Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to read more

I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot.
(on his decision not to vote)

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(explaining read more

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982)

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.