Time has convinced me of one thing: Television is for appearing on--not for looking at.

Time has convinced me of one thing: Television is for appearing on--not for looking at.

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in read more

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.

When television is good, nothing is better. When it's bad, nothing is worse.

When television is good, nothing is better. When it's bad, nothing is worse.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will read more

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

Did you ever think about life as a metaphor for television?

Did you ever think about life as a metaphor for television?

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read read more

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Television is a gold goose that lays scrambled eggs; and it is futile and probably fatal to beat it for read more

Television is a gold goose that lays scrambled eggs; and it is futile and probably fatal to beat it for not laying caviar.

Television is a corporate vulgarity.

Television is a corporate vulgarity.

And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was perhaps inevitable.

And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was perhaps inevitable.