Women are not forgiven for aging. Robert Redford's lines of distinction are my old-age wrinkles.

Women are not forgiven for aging. Robert Redford's lines of distinction are my old-age wrinkles.

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. -Josh Billings.

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. -Josh Billings.

I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.

I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing read more

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.

My days are in the yellow leaf;
The flowers and fruits of love are gone;
The worm, read more

My days are in the yellow leaf;
The flowers and fruits of love are gone;
The worm, the canker, and the grief
Are mine alone!
- Lord Byron (George Gordon Noel Byron),

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you read more

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

My only fear is that I may live too long. This would be a subject of dread to me.

My only fear is that I may live too long. This would be a subject of dread to me.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

Old age is like flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there's nothing you can do.

Old age is like flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there's nothing you can do.