In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: read more

In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds.

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds.

Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and believing you've witnessed read more

Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and believing you've witnessed the second coming.

There never was a chip, it is said, that Bill Gates couldn't slow down with a new batch of features.

There never was a chip, it is said, that Bill Gates couldn't slow down with a new batch of features.

The only thing that I'd rather own than Windows is English, because then I could charge you two hundred and read more

The only thing that I'd rather own than Windows is English, because then I could charge you two hundred and forty-nine dollars for the right to speak it.

Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.

Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other read more

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.

What is research, but a blind date with knowledge.

What is research, but a blind date with knowledge.

A satellite has no conscience.

A satellite has no conscience.