Dave Barry ( 10 of 61 )
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although read more
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count read more
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how read more
We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that read more
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to read more
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any read more
What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
