I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, read more

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Femininity appears to be one of those pivotal qualities that is so important no one can define it.

Femininity appears to be one of those pivotal qualities that is so important no one can define it.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

Being a gentleman is the number one priority, the chief question integral to our national life.

Being a gentleman is the number one priority, the chief question integral to our national life.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

There is always a chance that he who sets himself up as his brother's keeper will end up by being read more

There is always a chance that he who sets himself up as his brother's keeper will end up by being his jail-keeper.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, read more

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.