Dave Barry

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who read more

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.