Dave Barry

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will read more

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to read more

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can read more

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet