Dave Barry

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was read more

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management read more

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.