Dorothy Parker

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.

Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone

Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.

Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.

Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up read more

Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.

Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.