Erma Bombeck

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a read more

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.

Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams read more

Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in.