Erma Bombeck

Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.

Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop read more

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a read more

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.