Lily Tomlin

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- read more

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- then we can all die laughing.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent read more

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol