Lily Tomlin

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- read more

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- then we can all die laughing.

The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?

The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

The trouble with the rat race is that, even if you win, you're still a rat.

The trouble with the rat race is that, even if you win, you're still a rat.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.