Lily Tomlin

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent read more

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- read more

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest -- then we can all die laughing.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

The trouble with the rat race is that, even if you win, you're still a rat.

The trouble with the rat race is that, even if you win, you're still a rat.