Rodney Dangerfield

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last
week I put a read more

I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last
week I put a mirror over my dining room table.