After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough read more

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.