I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.