Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

If I'm going to sing like someone else, then I don't need to sing at all.

If I'm going to sing like someone else, then I don't need to sing at all.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.