There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are read more

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only read more

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, read more

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.