The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.