I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are read more

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.