Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this read more

Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is apt to mark the end of their capacities. They can't even attend to the elementary animal requirements of their offspring. It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Loving an old bachelor is always a no-win situation, and you come to terms with that early on, or you read more

Loving an old bachelor is always a no-win situation, and you come to terms with that early on, or you go away.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.

Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.