The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is read more

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.