Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."