I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only read more

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.