There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.