A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such read more

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.