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Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.
Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.
It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more
It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.
