When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.