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    When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

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  18  /  18  

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

by Mark Twain Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  25  /  30  

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

by Charles De Gaulle Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  21  /  20  

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

by Richard Dawkins Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  11  /  10  

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

by Warren Buffett Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  40  /  43  

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

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  27  /  18  

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are read more

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

by Jack Handey Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  11  /  9  

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  18  /  10  

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

by Tom Snyder Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  44  /  21  

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

by Sam Levenson Found in: Funny Quotes,
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