There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.