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Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back
In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.
In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.
The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.
The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.
I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.
Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more
Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
