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When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough read more

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

by Norm Crosby Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  20  /  23  

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

by Ethel Barrymore Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  10  /  19  

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

by Walt Disney Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  54  /  19  

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

by Minna Antrim Found in: Funny Quotes,
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The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

by Diana Vreeland Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

by Charlie Sheen Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  16  /  22  

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a read more

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac

by George Carlin Found in: Driving Quotes,
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Man drives, but the Creator holds the reins

Man drives, but the Creator holds the reins

by Jewish Proverb Found in: Driving Quotes,
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