A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.